Mental Health, Depression & Suicide
The Covid pandemic would be described as a once in a lifetime situation. It has been reported that the pandemic has affected the mental health of a record number of people many of whom would never have imagined that they would ever suffer any form of mental health issues, let's hope if anything good can come of all of this misery its that the stigma of the type of people who can suffer mental health issues has now changed and realised that it can be anyone from the homeless man in the street to the footballer to the Queen of Sheeba that it can happen to. Just as addiction doesn't discriminate neither does mental health. I think the sheer amount of time that we have all been in lockdown, lives been turned upside down and more importantly been separated from loved ones., people have felt more and more isolated, causing severe depression for many. I've learnt from watching various documentaries that human beings do not do too well when alone, Humans thrive when in communities, communication is key to success and happiness in one's lives, therefore the situation that a higher number of people have found themselves in over the past year has brought on a wave of depression, demoralisation and thoughts of suicide.
Having suffered from mental health problems since the age of 13 I know what it's like to have to deal with the stigma attached to issues such as depression, low self esteem, anxiety, panic attacks, dark thoughts, feelings of isolation and suicidal tendencies. Being a girl I feel that although admitting feeling as though something was different or not quite right with the way I was feeling was difficult I'm aware that it must be much more difficult for a young or teenage boy or man to admit and or discuss having these same feelings. It goes back thousands of years from the times when men had to behave like "real men", and although most people would say that things have changed massively since those times, have they really? In my lifetime I've heard things said such as; boys shouldn't cry, real men don't cry, real men don't talk about their feelings, sensitive boys are obviously gay, so its no wonder that boys/men feel as though they shouldn't be feeling how they are feeling and that they can't go to the Doctors or even discuss it with someone they trust like their mums or wives. When I was young, I can't imagine having to hold in how I was feeling, I used to worry myself sick until II got to the point I couldn't hold it in anymore and I'd' end up telling my mum everything, normally as she was saying goodnight to me I would use that opportunity to talk to her as I knew I couldn't spend another night worrying all night long no, being unable and so just as mum was about to leave the room I'd blurt out everything from how low I was feeling,. how some of the things that went on in my head, my thinking, the darkness to my thoughts were not normal, or what I perceived to be normal and my dreams, or more accurately night terrors, they were so vivid, so dark so bizarre, so real. Once I began to say how I was feeling, I couldn't stop, I'd be crying, sobbing my heart out to my poor mum. I'm one of the lucky ones, not once did my mum say something to make me feel as though I was over exaggerating, or that perhaps if I gave it a few weeks id be ok I just needed to keep my chin up! I honestly think if that's the response I had gotten after I finally managed to build up the courage to say how I was feeling due to fear of not being taken as seriously as I knew it was, it's possible I would have become another one of the suicide statistics. I recently observed the statistic table outlining how the figures were broken down, it states that the suicide rates in the UK including Ireland, Scotland and Wales was as follows:
2016 - 5965 Suicide's
2017 - 5821 "
2018 - 6507 "
2019 - 6908 "
Click on the link below:
Samaritans Suicide Stats Report 2019
The sad part about the statistics devised by the Samaritans is that three quarters of those figures are made up of boys and men over girls and women. Mental health in males is definitely discussed now more than ever but it's clear by the figures it's still not talked about enough, it's clear that the message is still not reaching boys that its ok to talk about how they are feeling and if they don't want to discuss it with a friend or loved one then there is more support out there now than ever and not just their local GP but organisations such as the Samaritans, personally I believe that mental health, depression and information on such places where support can be accessed should be part of the school curriculum, and in my opinion, these classes should begin in the last year of Junior School, which would make the students between 10 - 11 years of age.
I'm aware that a high amount of parents may feel that children of 10-11 should not be exposed to subjects such as suicide as they feel that these are things that a child of those ages would be more interested in computer games or football than suicide and at one time I may have agreed however the reason I believe in making this part of the school curriculum is a very personal one.
I first found out my child who had just turned 10 at the time had been having thoughts of suicide and had even cut himself with a kitchen knife. I'm lucky that we have an extremely close relationship and I still thank god today that he felt he could confide in me.
It was like history repeating itself. I was just about to leave his room after putting him to bed however due to my own childhood issues with worry, depression and anxiety, I recognised it in him. It was clear he had something bothering him, So, just as my mum had done with me years earlier I sat on the edge of his bed and reassured him that if he wanted to talk to me about anything then I was there to listen, It was then it all came tumbling out, how I managed to keep quiet and not look as though id just been smacked in the face as I guess metaphorically speaking that's exactly what just happened!, however, I just sat and listened until he'd finished, it was then my turn to ask as many questions as I could without making him feel that he had done something wrong, My main goal at that moment was to find out if he was in immediate danger to himself.
So this all ties in with making sure boys are aware it's ok to talk about their feelings, being sure they know they are going to be listened to and not judged and letting them know that there is help out there for them. we discussed whether he would like to see and speak to a Counsellor which he said he would rather do that than talk to someone he knew, including me and so I said I would find him a Councillor who dealt with childhood issues which is exactly what I did and an appointment was arranged.
Click on other links below for more help needed::
